I had my Roux-en-Y gastric bypass performed at Vanderbilt on September 9th, 2003.  It was a day that changed my life forever, as much as getting married or divorced, or having children.  Before my surgery, I was miserable and depressed.  I was 36 years old.  I was in constant pain from arthritis, and I took anti-inflammatory medications like they were candy.  My cholesterol was high.  I was exhausted and short of breath from walking across a room.  I was at risk for diabetes and heart trouble based on my family’s history.  Stairs?  You have got to be kidding.  It took all the strength I had to get through daily life. As a single mom of 2 kids, I got out of bed, got the kids off to school, went to work, did the best I could at home to keep the house up, and I slept...and I lived on fast food, because there was no time for anything else.

For the 1st few weeks after surgery I was forced to slow life down, and to relearn how to eat.  I also started learning how important it was to take care of myself and to take time for myself.  I slowly adjusted to healthier foods, started to really enjoy eating, started truly focusing on quality, not quantity. As the weight started to melt away, I gradually noticed that so had my joint pain.  I took my first real walk…to my mailbox, and back home.  The next day I walked to my next door neighbor’s house, and back home.  Every day I added a house, and soon I could make it around the block.  I was only 4 weeks out of surgery.  I wrote everything down, and I had someone take a picture of me every 2 weeks. I was determined to stay focused.  If I had an off day, which still happens every now and then, I’d open my journal and focus on how far I have come.

Before my surgery, I would do great, for a little while.  Then something would happen and I would hit a wall. I was always coming up with excuses not to exercise.  This time was truly different.  Even though I was walking, I still didn’t know how to exercise.  In February of 2004, I hired a personal trainer.  Everyone always said how important exercise was, but I flat out didn’t know how to do it, didn’t know where to start, and was extremely self conscious.  He taught me how to lift weights, to build stabilizing muscles in my joints, taught me how to run.  He helped give me the encouragement and confidence I needed to be my personal best.  It was expensive, but I figured out how to pay for it and it was worth every penny.  I was soon persuaded by another gastric bypass patient to sign-up for a 5K run.  I ran a little and walked a lot….but I finished it, and I have never felt so successful.  As my strength increased, so did my self confidence.  Not only did I run that 1st 5K, but during the summer of ‘04 I did four of them.  In the fall I ran my 1st 10K.  I am signed up to do my first ½ marathon in April 05.  Do I like to run?  No. Running is hard.  It was, and still is, that sense of accomplishment when I am through that I am after.  It’s the years of people telling me “You can’t do that” and me proving them wrong that keeps me going.  Last summer, for the 1st time, I went camping.  I went hiking.  I took a class and learned how to kayak.  I went spelunking, yes, crawling around in a dark cave for a day.  I got to some tight, low spots and almost panicked….I can’t fit through there!  I swallowed my fear, and closed my eyes and I started to crawl and I did fit….and was successful again.  I went white water rafting on the Ocoee River.  I bought a bicycle and rode almost every single day.  I started out riding around the neighborhood and then on all the local greenways.  I made it a goal to ride 10 miles to the interstate and then home again.  Going to the interstate was an easy, fast ride.  Down a huge hill, I was terrified I was going to fall, but I loved the thrill of it all.  I had to crawl up that hill on the way back home.  At first I couldn’t make it.  I had to get off the bike and walk, but I still made it to the top.  On my 5th attempt, I was able to ride to the top without getting off the bike…what a huge sense of accomplishment!  I go roller skating with my kids, I helped with the soccer team.  I really started to live.  It is strange and amazing that I have learned how to eat to live rather than living to eat.  I have a goal of doing something every day…It could be something challenging or something easy, but it had to be something.  If I have to miss a day, I forgive myself and move on.

Please notice that I haven’t mentioned how much weight I actually lost.  My weight loss was fast and steady. I lost 125 pounds the 1st 10 months after surgery, and I have maintained that loss so far.  In the end, I went from a clothing size of 26 to a size 6 to 8, depending on the manufacturer. I watched the scale like a hawk those 1st few months.  After 6 months my weight loss slowed down.  I was a little worried, but the staff at Vanderbilt and my trainer explained to me that I was building muscle.  Even though I wasn’t showing progress on scales, my body was changing drastically.  A pound of muscle is compact and about the size of a baseball, whereas a pound of fat is bigger and more the size of softball.  The numbers on the scale have grown less and less important to me over time.  I have learned to focus on how I feel, and the overall quality of my life has improved more than I ever thought possible.  I still keep a journal, and I still attend the support meetings. I weigh once a week. I eat well and I take care of myself.  I do my best to keep life simple, and I’ve just completed the best year of my life.

Liesl Carney
Liesl.carney@vanderbilt.edu
1/6/05